Some Really Serious Maths:

## For big values of One, One equals Two

(for small values of Two)

Cons of the metric system. Pros of the metric system? Google for yourself - it's all rational and simple, where is the fun in that?

**My Favorite Quote:**"Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration." - Stan Kelly-Bootle

You did not do your homework? Here are the Top Ten Excuses For Not Having Done Your Math Homework.

- I accidentally divided by zero and my paper burst into flames.
- Isaac Newton's birthday.
- I could only get arbitrarily close to the textbook. I couldn't actually reach it.
- I have the proof but there isn't room to write it in this margin.
- I was watching the World Series and got tied up trying to prove that it converged.
- I have a solar powered calculator and it was cloudy.
- I locked the paper in my trunk but a four-dimensional dog got in and ate it.
- I couldn't figure out whether i am the square of negative one or i is the square root of negative one.
- I took time out to snack on a doughnut and a cup of coffee. I spent the rest of the night trying to figure out which one to dunk.
- I could have sworn I put the homework inside a Klein bottle but this morning I couldn't find it.